too many 69's

one more fucking exam. i've down graded from a possible 4.0, to a possible 3.6. damn it. what ever, it's still deans list. fuck school. i talked to jose for like a good 2 hours today. that was nice, because i haven't talked to him 1 on 1 in awhile. scott was at the bar. but we talked about how much scott is fucking up, and we are worried about him. apparently he hasn't gone to any of his classes since the beginning of october. yo, wtf. i would wake up everyday during his class times, just to encourage him to go to class. he would come up with a lie every time about how he didn't have to go that day. i even made him a study guide for one of his exams. he lied and said he studied, and then didn't even go to the final. whatever. you can take a horse to the pond, but you can't make it drink .

scott reminds me of my sister. i'm super confused about my sisters situation though. like i don't know what it's like to go through heroin withdraw, so it's hard to push her to get off the methadone program. she told me that she would rather die, live a whole 2nd life, and then die again, then to go through heroin withdraw again. so it's sounds pretty insane.

but she's only awake for 4 out of the 7 days a week. and she's only up to feed her bunnies, and to get her next weeks dose of methadone. so it's like she's not even living anyways. so is it worth being on methadone? i just feel like she needs that one little push from someone. well if my fucking parents weren't divorced, my father would be more forceful with her situation (since his brother was an ex heroin addict as well), and make her get off the program within a certain deadline. i don't know if that would be a good approach though. but hey, look at the bright side, she's not doing heroin on the streets. at least she's safe.

holy fuck, to make matters worse, my dad was like christmas eve carl and lisa are coming over to dinner, and i would really like for you to come too. wellllllllllll, we have king crabs legs at mom's house every christmas eve! you know this, because you lived here two years ago. i told this too him too. he was like "this is just the way i'm doing it. but i won't be hurt if you decide to eat with your mother instead". after i ended the conversation in a nice manner, i started freaking out. i hate the whole concept of "choosing" which parent to eat with. i knew if i called my mom to ask her, she would start crying. my plan is to either try to convince one of them to eat at an earlier time, or just freak the fuck out and go in some woods and take pictures. i just hope they both end up happy. i don't really care how much schlepping i have to do, as long as they are both happy.

wow, i'm sorry this shit is depressing as shit. don't worry. i'm super happy right now. and very thankful.

1Loves x69

niels and i agreed to write a happy post

TODAY I SPENT 13 HOURS IN THE GIS LAB! I FUCKING LOVE IT! i love being stressed. it's being stressed, which makes appreciate the joy of relaxing when i finish whatever it is making me stressed. i wrote a 21 paper paper yesterday and a 20 page lab report all today, while i was in the GIS lab! now i have 2 more to do, which are due friday! i can't wait! i love it. i'm glad the professor who teaches 2 of my courses moved in the middle of the semester to alaska, to take a better job. now after the cluster fuck of a semester we had with his classes this semester, he gives us the beautiful gift of essay, lab reports, and take home exams the week before finals. he's awfully generous. i can't wait to work on them. once i get finished with all the work due this friday, i finally get to start studying for finals! the moment i've been waiting for all semester.

at least my quaternary geomorphology professor is working really hard with me on my svalbard application. I hope that ends up working out. i've been getting screwed with my summer plans so far. but either way, i'll be happy. i'm thankful for just living in a non poverty area. what more could i ask for? plus all my friends are in gaithersburg. i'll be happy no matter what. life will put me in the place that i truly belong. and no matter what it is, i'll be thankful for it.

it's 10pm. i'm about to go to bed. 8am class tomorrow, then writing a bunch of papers. i can't wait! i think this will be my first post that doesn't offend anyone.

i wish flight of the conchords was on right now.

dear reader,

i love you.

love,

peter

1Love

i'm so unmanly

war, ufc, fighting, etc... why do people choose to kill/harm others? how can people get joy from hurting/ seeing another person get hurt? i'll never understand how fighting became entertainment. i must be different from most guys, because when i see people get into a fight, not only am i not entertained, but i get a really bad feeling in my stomach, i feel sick.

i smoked a black and mild with this guy who just got back from iraq a week or two ago. i asked him many questions. i had never met someone who has actually killed someone in iraq before. he killed 2 people. he said they would run into houses and just shot everyone in it, looking for just a few people. he explained killing the people he shot like it was the most awesome thing he had ever done. he claimed he wish he shot more. i was so confused. i didn't understand why he was so excited about this. am i missing something? why is killing in war different than murder? i see no difference. it's just at a larger scale. america is the biggest cereal killer to walk the earth.

the next day this kid tried to commit suicide. i felt very upset. he was drunk when i was talking to him. he talked about this a little bit, but in a joking matter. he said he had to go back to iraq in a few months, and didn't want to go. i didn't know why he hated iraq so much, but loved killing them. maybe it all got to him. i felt bad because i asked him a lot of questions. maybe i brought up something he didn't want to talk. but listen to this... he jumped off a bridge, but his foot got stuck, and the cops found him. like wtf. i'm still weirded out from the situation. at least he's still alive.

i think it's time for me to move to iceland. they don't even have a military. i think that's the only way to go. why should any country have a military? no one should ever, ever feel the need to hurt or kill ANYONE, in my opinion.

"everybody should like everybody" -Andy Warhol